17 October 2018

One step at a time, double update this time.


YGDA 75 CC 21A

Try to walk on my own two feet again one step of a time.

24 September 2018

After a month? Update! Double! CC and YGDA combo!

Here's the link:

YGDA 74 CC 20C

And here's the rant:

in short: got some talks about continuing university (again) which made me goes blank for a few days... then my paypal account being not getting service anymore because of my lack of attention... tried to contact the support center but no avail and decided to create a new account... but found out that I need a new bank account to link my new paypal account... what a pain... ah well, I still need to do it anyway because I need it... and tried no fap challenge... which is hard... but I do really feel the difference. So I think I might do fasting for a few days to keep my body fit. I don't think I can jump straight to nofap90 at once lol.

also, someone I used to hate is even feel worried about me. I kinda feel...... insulted somehow. ah well, after all I don't have anything for now. there's no use being arrogant. well, man, I don't really hate you, it's been so long anyway. It just that I psychologically don't want to have anything to do with you so well, sorry for being ignoring you.

(and the fujoshi(es) is screaming their lung out in the distance)

09 September 2018

Got a relapse. sorry guys.

so long story short. well, somehow the talk is back to me trying to do my thesis again and...

I might be traumatized by it and got a relapse....

so... well, I kinda get over it for a bit now so will try working on it again...

well, got problem with paypal and adsense which doesn't help my mental health too but... well... slowly trying to get over it.

21 August 2018

not update, problem with paypal.

I tried to withdraw my money in paypal and got this notice a few moments after

So for donors, I'm sorry but my paypal currently under some trouble so you can't donate using paypal.

anyone that can help me in this problem is welcomed.

and no scamming plz...

Still Training My Self Discipline! Update CC ch 20B

Finally done with the update. sorry for the long wait folks. still need to put more omph to speed up my work.

here is it

CC Ch 20 Part BTmearn

And Rant time!

1st: Thank you for Donor, Raymond L.! you give me some coffee money after I just returned. I really appreciate that. thank you! and thank you again!

2nd: Something weird with adsense. I think it was because my blog suddenly surge with visitor so adsense goes haywire and block some ads in some page for having 18+ content. does story about suckling get into the 18+ content I wonder? and the weird thing is, the page being blocked is a page with nothing on it. well, as I am going to renovate the website, I just let it lying for now.

3rd: Midehira ask for Patreon, here I come with patreons! I am still new to patreon so I still don't know much about it. feedback is welcomed.


4th: I make a chat room in Discord. but I don't play with discord that much so I don't know what I really need to do with that tee hee~ teach me mastah~

here's the link for Discord! https://discord.gg/7mb8VPy

5th: my parent suggest me to join a hypnotherapy seminar to learn more about hypnotherapy and mainly how to do self hypnosis to help me build confidence and willpower to work. well, I think I am a bad receptor for hypnosis as I previously tried the therapy from a professional but getting no result. so anyone knows of the good way to self hypnosis to help my psychological problems?

anyway the seminar... it was good at first, talking about hypnotherapist-chick stuff... but it was later become opening cakra gate for energy treatment and whatsoever that I was especially doubtful with.

ah well, let's try for a few meetings to get some more acquaintances.

11 August 2018

I'm back. Here's update YGDA 73 and CC Ch20A

I'm back. Been thinking of going back but well, procrastination keep winning.

until our brave hero, Midehira, summoned me back from the depth of the abyss... okay, he just pm-ed me on twitter and asked about update. And from there, I somehow got the motivation to get back. Thank you man. and guys, thank him too.

well, here's the update 1st. after that I will rant like usual lol.

CC Chapter 20 Part ATmearn
YGDA 73Tmearn


And rant will be updated soon.

And rant time!

1st: reason for long hiatus:

As I tell earlier if you guys remembered, I get back to university to try again getting a degree. long story short, when time to face back at my thesis (again), I got stressed like getting a writer block (again) and keep getting sick.

My parents have given me a lot help. and even finding a psychiatrist to find just what the hell is wrong inside my mind that made me this way.

Well, after telling the psychiatrist all the thing I kept inside my mind, I feel somewhat released from my depression...... until the time for the actual treatment.

The treatment is like a kind of hypno-therapy kind of treatment so I (am supposed to) get under hypnotic state before I get treated. But I don't feel being under hypnotic at all. my mind was all clear dammit! I tried to tell the psychiatrist that I am not getting enough hypnosis but the doctor just telling me to keep being relaxed and just follow her instruction and don't think too much. Well, what can I do beside obeying the doctor instruction.

and then into the treatment... the doctor actually told me to deny, yes, to deny the side of me that been weighting me back like lazyness, being not confident, lewd, antisocial(?), etc etc. and bring out the better persona that I want to get.

Maybe that treatment can be a success if I am not this deeply involved with the otaku world. Because denying myself... made me remember the shadow in persona series. and I somehow feeling resistant to it. I feel like I should embrace my darker self so we can go together to conquer the world or something so the suggestion for the hypno-therapy is all becoming a dud and I'm just getting back to my usual self. keep on being sickly in face of my thesis.

and finally, after entering a new semester, my father just decided that maybe getting a degree in computer is just not for me and told me to stop my college and find something else to do so I can support my own life.

my father told me to become tourist guide as I can speak 4 languages (Indonesian, Javanese, English, and Japanese) but working outside just seems to be a bother for me. I once joined a kind of Uber in my country but driving under the sun for an hour had made my body feel bad all over. so I stopped.

and yeah. I am planning to get back translating because that's the thing I can do best currently. I also slowly train my kanji reading skill and write a story by myself in qidian. but as you can guess.. the procrastination is strong. thanks to Midehira that pm-ed me in twitter that I got the motivation to trully come back here.

I also asked one of my friend to help me re-design the blog to look more simple (and to put more effective ads for more money) but well, I don't know when he will finished so I just focused myself on translating first.

Also, I got someone else who offer his help in translating CC. he already done some chapters but as I gone MIA, he also stopped working on. I feel bad for him but well... I have it coming for me. sorey again mate, I even forgot who you are.

Hmm... enough rant maybe? I just write my own novel after this.... nope... maybe giving myself a present first for finishing this quest is in order. ahoy H land!

12 January 2018

Cross your finger and hope this continues. Double Update! YGDA 72 and CC 19 last part

I'm back~~~ still don't feel good but... I need to finish what I start doesn't it?

Well, The procrastination feeling to work on my thesis is just over infinity, I am now a wizard (virgin 30 years old), my little brother is about to propose to a girl, my case being fired from work in japan ended up with my seeming loss (+ a fine of 150 million rupiah[around 12k $]) but what the heck.

here's the update that I work bit by bit over my time being loss. and double them up. I haven't had the time (or actually, willpower) to upload so it was actually a few days after I done.

well, might as well forgot this series for a year hoping that I would release more in the year and you can binge read them.

but still. here's the update!

CC Chapter 19 Part DTmearn
YGDA 72 Tmearn

Start using Tmearn to get more moneh~ support by using Tmearn link guys if you can't donate.

Please~ :)

Enjoy and thank you!

PS: thank you for your understanding comment in my last post. just read it tho but I still feel my motivation coming back slowly. thank you again.

Yosh. Ganbarou!

edit:about that fine. this picture is very relate-able for me:

1: Staying home all day, I won't improve

2. If things goes on, how could I gain success??

3. I will go out so I can become a useful and worthy human!

4. Deal 10 million rupiahs (barely 100$)
*become a worthy human indeed.